Supporting children and adults who have been exposed to Domestic Abuse.
Control of another person’s behaviour by using force or threats, or by causing fear: Coercive control as part of domestic abuse can be punishable by law, even if it stops short of physical violence.
Gaslighting refers to trying to convince someone they’re wrong about something even when they aren’t. Tricking or controlling someone by making them believe things that are not true, especially by suggesting that they may be mentally ill.
Most commonly disagreeing with someone or refusing to listen to their point of view/telling them theirs is pointless. Making them believe a different viewpoint/question their own sanity.
The crime of illegally following and watching someone over a period of time Stalking is a pattern of repeated behavior that includes unwanted attention, contact, harassment, or other conduct towards a specific person. Stalking behaviors may be committed in person, by following the victim, or by monitoring and harassing the victim electronically.
Economic abuse is a form of abuse when one intimate partner has control over the other partner’s access to economic resources, which diminishes the victim’s capacity to support themselves and forces them to depend on the perpetrator financially. Financial abuse is one kind of coercive control, where the abuser uses money to control their partner. One in five adults in the UK have been a victim of financial abuse. Financial abuse can take a variety of different forms within relationships, whether by partners, family members or carers and may manifest itself as financial control, dependency, exploitation or sabotage.
Trauma bonding occurs as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change.
Patrick Carnes developed the term to describe “the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person.”
If you have been trauma bonded, the first step is to recognize it. Go no contact to reconnect with reality.
Get support to break it properly. Through self-awareness, self-care and reality can we cut the cords that continue to keep us bound to them. Highly manipulative people don’t respond to empathy or compassion.
Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person by way of bodily contact. Alternative terms include physical assault or physical violence, and can also include sexual abuse. Physical abuse may involve more than one abuser, and more than one victim.
When referring to physical abuse, we are not talking about self-defence. Self-defence, or reactive violence, is a response to violence to you. The result of reactive violence doesn’t create dominance or control in the relationship.
Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is abusive sexual behaviour by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking advantage of another. When force is immediate, of short duration, or infrequent, it is called sexual assault. The offender is referred to as a sexual abuser / molester. The term also covers any behaviour by an adult or older adolescent towards a child to stimulate any of the involved sexually. The use of a child, or other individuals younger than the age of consent.
Abuse can happen at any point in a relationship including after it ends. Abuse knows no gender, race, religion, colour or sexual orientation it is rife throughout. Although the statistics prove women are most likely to be at most risk of abuse between the ages of 20-30. *safelives fact.
Domestic abuse describes any type of abuse that is used to control and obtain power. It can include physical, sexual, psychological, verbal, emotional, gas lighting, trauma bonding and financial abuse. If someone changes their behaviour because they are frightened of how someone (usually a partner) will react, this is the biggest sign or red flag that they are being abused.
Many people experience domestic abuse in it’s different forms and sometimes without ever being physically abused. Non-physical forms of abuse can be as destructive and as undermining as physical violence. Kaleidoscopic UK believe the ‘bruises you can’t see are the ones that can last a lifetime’ and that the violence can be a bi-product of the control.
England and Wales collects statistics each year from many different sources to collate numbers. As we know this is not reflective of the ‘true’ stats as many adult and child victims never report any abuse at all. It is estimated that 1/3 remain un-reported.
If you answered yes to some of these questions you/your loved one might be in an abusive relationship. You are NOT alone, we have all experienced this too and are here to support you. It is not your fault, it is NOT love and you DONT deserve it. You can have a life free from abuse.